Between 500 Days of Summer and Paper Heart, I have officially grown a massive hatred of hipster movies. If I see any more handicams, sixties retro, chuck taylors, michael cera, sweater vests, long sleeve shirts over short sleeve shirts over long sleeve shirts or indy rock soundtracks I am going to puke. If I had known Garden State would have caused such an onslaught of crap, I would have gone back in time to snipe Zach Braff and save the world the heartache of all the talented filmmakers being homogenized into, at best, what a great salmon dinner tastes like when it repeats on you.
A message to all of those out there who think that sadness makes your film great: you're a fucking asshole. If you write a movie about not actually falling in love with the same mechanical schema as regular romantic movies then all you do is dissapoint. People don't watch movies to be disapointed they watch them to escape. Escape from the banal existence where people don't get the one they love, where they don't get their dreams, where they aren't able to pull it out and make the impossible possible. There's plenty of that in the real world, stop fucking putting it into my movies where I go to get away from all the bullshit. Movies should be an inspiration. 500 Days of Summer is obviously a movie that tells itself that its ok to have 2 hours of sad painful horribleness as long as you have a 30 second snippet of faith renewal, well guess what, it doesn't take the math classes you hipsters loathe to figure out that the time doesn't equate. You still feel like shit after and your movie is still pointless as fuck.
Enough.
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